I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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