96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
