can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.