this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.