Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.