He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.