This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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