your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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