they're staring at me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver