the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them