It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.