I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often