i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.