Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low