I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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