"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
