People in love make me want to vomit
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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