first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids