Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis