Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy