this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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