Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
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what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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