Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
even my farts smell like vagina
zippers are such a cool invention
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
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