can we get nightvision for the apartment?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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