Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
