im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
