it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize