i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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