Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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