three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
