What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
