I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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