I think my fart just growled at me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize