smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
