I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize