addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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