too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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