I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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