I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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