There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize