The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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