Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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