check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.