What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES