theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.