I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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