My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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