wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
