I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
two words: eviction party
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
