I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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