Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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