I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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