Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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