I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize