Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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