So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize