Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize