Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
