what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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