sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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