yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
