6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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