Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
